Protecting an older parent
from scams.

What scams target older adults the most?

Almost every scam aimed at seniors is a variation on impersonation. Criminals pose as someone trusted and manufacture urgency so there is no time to think. The most common:

• Government impersonation — fake Social Security, Medicare, or IRS notices claiming a problem with benefits or taxes.
• The grandparent scam — a call or message from a "grandchild" in an accident, in jail, or stranded, needing money kept secret from the parents.
• Bank and company impersonation — a warning about "suspicious activity" that asks you to confirm details or move money to a "safe account".
• Prizes and sweepstakes — you've won, but you must pay a fee or taxes first.
• Tech-support scams — a pop-up or call claiming the computer is infected and needs paid help.
• Romance scams — an online relationship that, over weeks, turns into requests for money.
• Fake invoices and renewals — a clean-looking bill for antivirus, a subscription, or a service, with a number to call.

They differ in costume but share a script: act now, keep it secret, and pay in a way that can't be undone — gift cards, wire transfer, cryptocurrency, or a payment app. Those three demands together are the clearest warning sign there is.

How do I talk to my parent about this?

The conversation matters as much as any setting, and the wrong tone shuts it down. A few things that work:

• Lead with respect, not alarm. This happens to everyone, including sharp, careful people. Being targeted is not a sign of decline — the criminals are professionals running a script that has worked on lawyers, engineers, and retired police officers.
• Make it mutual. Ask them to be your second opinion, too. "Let's agree to run anything odd past each other" is a partnership, not supervision.
• Agree on one simple family rule out loud: we always call each other before sending money or sharing a code, no matter who is asking or how urgent it sounds.
• Tell a real story. A concrete example of a neighbor or a news case lands better than a lecture about categories.

The setup: do this together

• Turn on multi-factor login for their email and bank. Email is the master key — whoever controls it can reset everything else.
• Agree on a family "safe word". A private word only the family knows instantly exposes a fake "grandchild" or "relative in trouble", including AI voice-clone calls that sound exactly right.
• Save real numbers in their phone for the bank, the doctor, and close family, so a verification call is one tap and never a number from a message.
• Register on the Do Not Call list (donotcall.gov) and turn on the phone's spam-call filtering. It won't stop everything, but it thins the flood.
• Put a fraud alert or credit freeze in place with the three credit bureaus if you're concerned about identity theft.
• Set a "pause" habit for money. Any unexpected request to pay — especially by gift card, wire, crypto, or app — means stop and call a trusted person first. No exceptions for urgency.
• Consider inbox monitoring for the mail itself, so a second set of eyes catches the dangerous message before anyone has to judge it alone.

The habits that do the heavy lifting

Settings help, but three habits stop most fraud on their own:

1. Verify, don't react. Any urgent request for money or personal information gets checked through a number or website you already trust — never the contact details in the message itself.
2. Treat secrecy as the red flag it is. "Don't tell anyone" is something a scammer needs and a legitimate institution never asks. Secrecy is the tell.
3. Slow down on money. No legitimate agency, company, or family member will lose anything because you took ten minutes to confirm. Only a scam depends on speed.

If it has already happened

Move quickly, and above all without blame — shame is what keeps people from telling anyone, which is exactly what the criminal is counting on.

1. Call their bank or the payment service immediately to try to stop or reverse the transfer. Speed is everything.
2. Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, and for larger losses the FBI at IC3.gov.
3. Change the passwords on any account that may have been exposed, starting with email.
4. Watch for a recovery scam. Criminals often circle back pretending to be an agency or investigator who can retrieve the money — for a fee. It is the same crime, twice.
5. Reassure them. Falling for a professional scam is not a character flaw, and reacting with warmth rather than judgment is what keeps them safe next time.

Sources & further reading: U.S. Federal Trade Commission (consumer.ftc.gov) · FBI Elder Fraud (ic3.gov) · AARP Fraud Watch Network. This guide is educational and does not replace advice from your bank or law enforcement.

Common questions